Blessed Be Your Name

This year of 2005 has already been full. I can hardly believe it’s only been 2 months. Over the course of those months I've had so much I've wanted to communicate to you but finding the time to write has seemed nearly impossible. So I apologize for this silence and thank you for your continued love, support and prayers through this especially challenging time.

“Blessed Be Your Name”, a song written by Matt Redman has been incredibly significant to me over the last months. The words of one part sing “You give and take away, you give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name”. Those words bring on a whole new meaning when we're literally talking about lives that are given and taken away. On my 20th birthday 2 babies were born at our clinic—one baby was named Nicole- after a little encouragement from our Filipina midwife! The other baby was Adrien Riff. I prayed over Adrien Riff before he left, praying that he would live to walk in the destiny and calling that God had for his life. The next day his family came to our clinic in the evening, frantic. Our emergency buzzer was rung and we found a baby that was lifeless. We did everything we could to resuscitate him and by the time our midwives got into a taxi, taking him to the hospital, he did have a heartbeat but it wasn’t solid. The doctors spent the night resuscitating him but he didn’t make it. I guess the destiny and purpose that God had for that baby was to be fulfilled in his short 48 hours of life! I’ll never again take advantage of the sound of a strong heart beating on a newborn baby! God gives life and he takes it away. Through it all I had to learn to say ‘blessed be your name’.

Less than a week later, on January 18, 7 officials from the regional and federal Department of Health came to our clinic to inform us that as of Nov. 2004 new regulations were passed and we were not in compliance with federal regulations of what they call “Birthing Homes”. In order for us to continue operating we were to file licensure as a Birthing Home. The next day they asked us to stop offering in-patient care, but allowed us to continue on an outpatient basis. This meant we could continue our prenatal days and immunization days, but were unable to do in-patient deliveries. That night we spent a lot of time praying, knowing that this was something the enemy was attempting to do to thwart the purposes that the Lord had in us being here. We knew this battle was not against flesh and blood!! We decided that the best way to continue serving our patients was by offering home births to every woman that came here in labor. Home births are not regulated in the Philippines so we were not violating any laws. For the next month the women that came here in labor were accompanied back to their homes with 3 or 4 midwives who would spend the next hours with them in their homes. In these situations God reminded me again that He gives and takes away- opportunities to deliver babies at the clinic may be taken away, but I know that he will give new opportunities through doing home births.

The next day a patient came to our clinic in labor with her first baby. A Filipina midwife and I offered her the option of us delivering her baby at home. Oxygen tank in one hand, bag of medical supplies in the other we got into a tricicad (basically motorcycle with a side car) and went into Welfareville. We climbed out of the tricicad and walked through the small alleyways, up a flight of steep stairs, over open sewer, and into a small room that was Jing’s home. Less than an hour later she delivered a beautiful, healthy baby boy. He was born crying and all was well. There in the comfort of her home came forth a beautiful life! Again God showed me that he provides life so amazingly. Lord blessed be your name! Over the course of the next month we had the privilege of delivering over 20 babies in homes. So much about homebirths is the same, yet so much is different. Although medically it can at times be challenging, it is such an amazing privilege to literally bring the light of Christ into a home! Hours are spent sitting on their floor, eating the food that they willingly offer, attempting to speak their language—just being with the people.

The past month we as leadership have been busy in different ways; filing paper work for permits to get licensure. The permits we needed were zoning permits, fire permits, environmental regulations, etc. Nothing related to patient care. The Department of Health did require us to have a generator and a transport vehicle. Both of these were unexpected expenses, but through some additional fundraising we were able to have provision for these! Once our paper work was all in order we were just waiting for an inspection and final processing of our application. After nearly a month of waiting God answered our prayers and moved on our behalf. A doctor that we had developed a relationship with agreed to write a letter of endorsement for us, saying that she we could practice under her until we get a permanent license. So on February 17, 2005 our birth room opened again for inpatient deliveries. This past Tuesday 4 DOH officials showed up at the clinic without warning to conduct our inspection. At the end of the inspection God again moved on our behalf and we passed inspection. There are only a couple things that need to be done for our license to be processed. One of the things is getting a memorandum of agreement with the local hospital, agreeing that they will receive the patients that are complicated outside of our realm of care. Please pray for favor this week as I meet with the Medical Director of the hospital to request this letter. Again God showed that through a season of taking away He was giving back to us!!

One of the hardest realities of our clinic being closed for in-patient deliveries was the reality that if they continue closing clinics the people that will be affected are the poor. For some, those lying in clinics are the only way these women can deliver with any trained medical help. If lying-in clinics continue to be shut down the women God has given me such a heart for will not have access to medical care. They will be like so many of the other women we’ve seen and be turned away at the doors of the hospitals because the hospitals don’t have any space. And with nowhere else to go they will return home. Sometimes they will be okay. God’s grace will completely cover them and everything will be normal. But sometimes it won’t. And lives will be lost. All because these poor are denied the essential necessity of basic healthy care. It’s become normal here now because it’s common. But it’s not just and not what God desires.

Through it all God has shown me his heart in new ways over the last months. Sometimes feeling his heart is painful and difficult. But it’s worth the cost. Because the joy that comes through the suffering is worth it all. Though he gives and takes away, my heart chooses to say blessed be your name!!

The reality of poverty was understood in new ways as we did homebirths. Being in the women’s homes and seeing their situations opened my eyes again. When women come to the clinic we are aware they are poor but they come looking their very best so it’s easy to deny that their living conditions are truly as they are. The last homebirth I did was in one of the poorest homes I’ve ever entered. One evening a lady came to our clinic asking us to come to her house where her sister was in labor. When we got there at 11 pm, Vicki, our soon-to-be new mom was taking care of 12 children. Her 4 and her sisters 8 (the sister that had come to the clinic to get us). Both their husbands were out working… collecting garbage to sell to recycle companies as the families only income. The house was barely bigger than a North American bathroom. Her sister lived next door. Combined the houses were no bigger than an average kitchen and in that space there were 17 people living. Vicki’s sister had put all 12 kids to ‘bed’ in her house. At one point in the night I peeked in to see them sleeping all over the floor. Their legs were tangled up. They were laying nearly on top of eachother. Every once in a while someone would roll over and wake up the person beside them who found herself squished up against the wall. She would just get up and find the nearest open space on the floor. At least they were sleeping peacefully. I was in the house next door with Vicki. I wasn’t in such a peaceful state. The wall on one side of the room was raised a little, and underneath ran an open sewer. In the middle of the night rats and roaches were crawling in and out of there continuously. It felt like a bad nightmare! If I let myself look at one cockroach I noticed that it wasn’t alone, but actually surrounded by many others!! Yet in this place, primitive as it may be, a healthy baby boy was born!! It may not have been the ideal location but neither was the place where Jesus was born. The presence of God was there and real, so independent of the state of poverty. Through this God showed me a fresh meaning of the incarnation—He became one of us—“the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son” (Luke 1:6). So simple. So profound. You give and take away, my heart will chose to say blessed be your name!

Most of you have known bits and pieces of our journey towards licensure over the last couple months. Thank you for your specific prayers in that time. It’s only because of the intervention of God that we have completed and passed inspection with only minimal paperwork to do to have complete licensure. We are confident that this license is going to open many new doors and expand our territory in The Philippines! Please continue to pray that this process will go smoothly and be complete soon!

Thank you for your love and support as I walk out the calling that God has placed on my life,

Love Nicole


Blessed Be Your Name
by Matt Redman
album: Where Angels Fear To Tread (2002)

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

It feels like a short time ago that I wrote you a Christmas letter from Davao, Philippines last year. And here I find myself, one year later, in the same country yet a different place, this time the capital city of the Philippines; Manila.

This is my second Christmas in the Philippines and it comes again with mixed emotions. Christmas tends to be a time of reflecting, and this Christmas I find myself reflecting over all that has taken place in the last year. Last year at this time I was half-way through completing my year in Davao, assuming that once that was complete my time in the Philippines would be limited to occasional visits to catch up on relationships. God obviously had a different plan.

During my time home this summer my director asked me to pray about returning to the Philippines, this time to Manila, to co-lead in establishing a new birth center. She had spent significant amounts of time in Welfareville, one of the slum areas in Manila, and felt that God was calling this ministry to establish a new birth center just outside of these slums. I knew as soon as she asked me that this would be the next step I’d take. On October 19 I arrived here at the clinic where I met up with Naomi, an amazing friend and fellow midwife who had been here for a month already doing the ground work and preparation for the new clinic. On October 13 they opened the clinic for prenatals and births. The first birth was a couple hours after I arrived. Our patient Gie delivered a beautiful baby girl, Jezra Joy at 12:45 am October 20, 2004. After that the birth room continued at a steady rate. In our first month we delivered 13 babies, the second month 45 babies, and to date we have had the privilege of welcoming 61 new lives into this world! Each of those numbers represents a story. Energy, love and intercession is poured out for precious lives. Each baby with an individual destiny and calling being set apart for the purposes of the Lord!

Being here is such a privilege and an honor. I know that I know that God has called me here for such a time as this! One reminder of this was on November 18 when I had the privilege of being the midwife for Khay Sollera. Khay was a 20-year-old, pregnant with her first baby. She came in the birth room in labor at 7 am. I was able to be with her throughout the entire day, and because her English was good we were able to develop a unique relationship. From the moment I met her I felt connected on a level deeper than words can explain. I knew it was the grace and presence of God! During the last hours of her labor I played worship music in the birth room and was able to be there for her and support her through each contraction. The presence of God was tangible as she journeyed through this difficult time. The remainder of her birth was quite intense but finally at 8:23 pm Shawn Mykhel let out his first cry! Khay and her husband Michael were both overjoyed with the birth of their son! Shawn had difficulty establishing regular breathing and after a few hours had to be transported to the nearest hospital. Separating Khay and her baby was a miserable experience. Khay cried as she sang and prayed over him before we took him to the hospital. As soon as we discharged her the next morning she went to be with him. I went to visit them at the hospital later that day and they were quite excited to see me! She had been asking about me and hoping that I would come to visit. The baby recovered well and was discharged a couple days later. Khay sent me a text message the next day that said “Nicole, thank you for helping us. For saving our lives and giving us strength. I love you and I can’t forget those memories with you.” Overall the experience with Khay was one that will never be forgotten. I came to love her with a love only God could give. We connected on an incredible level- a level I rarely reach with my patients! Since then I have been able to spend time at her house and her with me at our clinic. She is incredibly hungry for Jesus Christ. Two of her sisters are Christians but she was raised catholic and doesn’t know what she believes. I’m praying for opportunities to share with her the hope by which I am saved!

Over the course of the last months God has been giving me His heart for Welfareville. The first time I walked through it I was completely overwhelmed by the great need. Welfareville is the place where the poorest-of-the-poor live. Their houses are small and resources limited. It is a place where Welfare was formerly given, but now has become known among the poorest of Asian slums. God has given me a love for the people there. One day we were walking through and He showed me a picture of small gold nuggets scattered throughout that place. He was reminding me that although in our earthly standards these people appear to be poor and broken He still seems them as beautiful, full of the riches that matter in eternity!

We had a Christmas party tonight for our most recent patients, most of them from Welfareville. We had no idea how many people to expect but we knew that word of mouth could spread quickly. 300 people came through our doors. We sang some Christmas carols, gave prizes of clothing and blankets to the patients, fed them dinner, and handed out little tokens. For many of them this may be all they get this Christmas. It was such an amazing privilege to be hosting these people in our clinic. I felt like we were living out Luke 14, inviting the poorest of the poor and throwing a banquet. I felt such an incredible, overwhelming, unexplainable joy as we served these patients. Blessing these families makes it all worth it!

Welfareville is probably one of the areas of Manila that was affected by the many typhoons that have hit the Philippines in the last couple weeks. But Welfareville hasn’t been making headline news over it. In Welfareville flooding is a normal occurrence. If we go to visit patients the day after it rains their houses may have whole rivers running through the center of them. It’s a part of their lives, sometimes day in and day out. Through our prayers for Welfareville God gave us Isaiah 62 and gave us a new name for that place; Beulah- married, and Hephzibah- my delight. He has been showing us that His heart is intricately connected to that place and he delights in it. I know that He has so much more for them than poverty and shame. And through each of our prayers we are claiming back the purposes of the Lord for that place!

Thank you for your prayers, support and love, especially during this Christmas season. I know that it’s through sacrifices that each of you have made that I am here ministering the love of Jesus to these precious people! In your continued prayers you could pray specifically for normal labors and deliveries, for more Filipino midwives at the clinic, and for our patients to come to know the real reason we pour ourselves out for this, and them to come into a personal relationship with our God!

I also need to mention that there is an ongoing financial need in establishing a clinic and through my living as an unpaid missionary. If God has laid it on your heart to give, tax deductible donations can be made payable to: Meadowvale CRC, memo Mercy In Action/Nicole.

Thank you!

First births in Manila

To my amazing friends and family,

The last couple days have been pretty busy here at the clinic, so I thought it’d be fun to let you know what’s been going on. Friday night Naomi and I went to check our email together. We are the only supervisors at the clinic, but we had decided that it’d be okay as long as we are within walking distance. The girls have our cell numbers and we can always run back if we need to. Well just as I finished reading my emails Naomi got a text that they had a labor at the clinic and wanted us to come back. So we did. We jogged actually. Our patient was Ate Becca. She was pregnant with her 6^th child, but she was only having contractions every so often. I had actually done her prenatal on Wednesday, which was kind of fun. While I was with her, another patient came in. So Naomi and one of the students were taking care of one, while I was with Sarah taking care of Ate Becca. The baby’s heart beat was pretty fast, and after an hour of monitoring we decided we needed to transport her, even though she was only 2 cm. Naomi’s labor wasn’t really in labor, so they sent her home. So after a little excitement I went back upstairs to my room. About an hour later the labor buzzer went again. The girls on shift went downstairs only to find out that Ate Becca was back, the hospital had turned her away, saying that they had no vacancy. They wrote a referral letter that said “referring from Mandaluyong Medical Center, to: Patients hospital of choice”. Apparently that was us. Still the baby’s heart tones were fast so we couldn’t keep her. As they were explaining this to her, at about 10:30 pm, Girlie, a different labor came in. She looked quite active and was having frequent contractions. She asked if she could deliver at our place. She said she saw the sign when she was walking by. We soon found out that this was her 7^th baby. She had the other 6 at the hospital with pain medication, so this was a new experience for her! She was already 8 cm and progressing well. She delivered a healthy baby boy at 12:45 am. Naomi and I were her midwives! There were a couple other girls present, but they opted out of being the primary midwives and asked if they could just observe. The birth itself was somewhat intense, but God is good and both mom and baby are healthy! Two births in Manila already… after being open for less than two weeks! I slept from 3:30 am until mid-afternoon… praise the Lord for air-conditioning! I have never slept that well following a night shift. God is soo good to me!

Ate Becca ended up going to three different hospitals with two of the other midwives at the clinic. The last one said that the baby’s heart beat sounded normal so they were sending her home. There is always the possibility that God totally healed that little baby’s heart, but what we heard was not normal. So we’re praying that God did change it and things will be normal yet. We are just praying the hospital didn’t overlook the complication. Please keep her in your prayers too! I’ll keep you posted as to whether she comes back here.

At about 5 pm the labor buzzer rang again, Susa, a 19 year old pregnant with her first baby arrived. She found out about us through someone that met us on our walk through welfareville on Thursday. God is so good to show us the fruit of our labor already. Only 2 days after walking through Welfareville we get patients directly connected. Susa delivered normally at 10:45 pm, so we ended up having 2 births in one day! 3 births in Manila!

That’s a bit of info on what’s been going on in the clinic. The play-by-plays of every patient will probably not continue for long considering that this will become more normal but I’m really enjoying being able to be excited about each patient that comes in. Taking the time to pray specifically for that patient with the midwives that are not with her at the time.

The atmosphere at this clinic is amazing. God is so completely here! The girls that have been here for the past month have spent a lot of time praying over the clinic and even had a night of worship and prayer in the birth room. I heard that they sang “Let Your Glory Fall” over the birth room. Pretty amazing to prophetically sing “Let your glory fall in this room, let it go forth from here to the nations”. Every weekday morning we have devotions and prayer time together. I have been so blessed already by this time. We bring together our personal needs as well as needs of patients and friends and family from home. We also had a night of worship this week, and I led some songs.

Thank you all for your support as I venture through this new thing. It’s already been such a privilege to be here and see the potential that God has for a place like this! Please continue to pray for us as we dream His dreams for this clinic!

Love Nicole