Carolina's whole family
Friday, March 16, 2007
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Thursday, October 13, 2005
Another month in the Philippines
Dear Friends,
Today as we celebrate the 1 year anniversary of this clinic being open, we had our 659th birth! As I reflect on the past year I can’t help but be overwhelmed by God’s faithfulness. This year has come with many challenges as we pioneer something new, but I know that God’s hand has been ever present as he’s guided us through valleys and over mountains!
It was a Sunday morning at around 10 am when Sarah came to me in a panicked voice and said “I can’t find heart tones”. She was checking in a new labor that had just come into our clinic. The lady’s name was Johna, 22 years old and in labor with her 4th child. She had been to our clinic for one prenatal in August and came now in active labor. I attempted to find fetal heart tones and couldn’t hear them at all. I had a sense in my spirit that this baby was not going to live, yet I had a peace that passed understanding. The next hours were intense and difficult as 15 minutes later Johna delivered a baby girl, Stefany, born without a heart beat. We tried resuscitating her for the first few minutes but there was no response. Stefany was already safe in the arms of Jesus. We spent the next hours grieving with Johna and her husband, Ray. They had already experienced this once with their firstborn. Johna’s first pregnancy was twins. The first twin was born crying and grew up to be a healthy 4-year-old. The second one was a still birth. She had another child after that set of twins and now had this baby. Johna’s grief was deep. As we heard this mother sob over another lost child we knew that a part of her was lost as well. We had the privilege, as hard as it was, of walking through this journey with them; comforting them in their grief, praying for the peace of God to reign in their lives.
That night our team gathered together and prayed and worshiped. We sang together “For You are Good”. It was really challenging for me to sing that. To chose to say “God is still good”.
Later that day I had another birth that wasn’t exactly normal… another baby that needed some resuscitation. As I was thinking about it later I was pretty upset that the birth had been that way. I was really praying for a normal birth as the trauma from Johna’s birth was still so fresh. But as I reflected on it God really spoke to me. He reminded me of the miracle of life. I realized that both of those births could have had the same outcomes, had it not been for the grace and miracle of God. He breathed life into that second baby. Within minutes she was screaming and crying, kicking and breathing. That is a miracle. Each precious one is a miracle. I won’t ever understand why one lives and one dies. All I can do is put my trust in a God who is sovereign, who gives life and takes it away.
Walking this journey with Johna and Ray was just one of the experiences that I had this past month. The other families that have been really close to my heart are Carolina and Vicki’s families (the families that collect recycling from us). The first couple weeks I was back I spent a lot of time with them, chatting, playing with their kids, and just hanging out together. We had a lot of conversations about poverty, both here and around the world. One day they asked me if there were poor in Canada. I told them that there was but they couldn’t live in the same sort of shacks because of the cold and the need for heating. They had never heard of heating before. I was trying to explain it to them and finally said “just like airconditioning but it blows hot air”. Suddenly they got it! J They proceeded to ask me more questions about the poor and about my family. Just when I felt like they understood that we had poor just on a different scale they asked me, “so do your brothers and sisters collect garbage so they can eat?” I was suddenly aware that they really have no idea how great the extremes are!
A couple days later Ate Carolina came to the clinic saying one of her children was in the hospital, diagnosed with appendicitis. I spent the next hours with them at the hospital. Finally one of the doctors that did an evaluation said “this doesn’t seem like appendicitis”. He closed the curtains, did an exam and came out with a tapeworm over a foot long!!! The dr. wrote us a few prescriptions for deworming and sent us on our way.
A couple weeks later more of the children were hospitalized. This time they had diarrhea and were vomiting. This flu should have been something easy for their bodies to fight, but because they are already malnourished and compromised this flu was enough to knock them out completely. They were dehydrated and weak, on IV’s and antibiotics. Carolina and Vicki came to the clinic to tell me. They were pretty upset and felt helpless as they didn’t have any money for even the most basic care. I went with them to the hospital and spent the next hours doing everything from talking to the doctors, paying the laboratory fees, buying medicines and getting them lunch! It was an extremely exhausting day, I think emotionally more than anything. I was very aware that without this basic medical treatment these little children could literally die. Diarrhea is one of the top 2 killers of children in the third world. Why? Because they are so malnourished and already compromised that their body can’t fight a typical flu bug. The heaviness of injustice felt great. Things seem unfair when they are denied privileges and luxuries that we have, but when they are denied basic rights like medical care and a meal, the injustice seems too overwhelming!
It seems like every day I am here I am more aware of the depths of injustice. At times I am thankful for the opportunity to see things so deeply. Other times I just want to retreat and not see it at all. I struggle daily with the questions “how can I help? How can I truly make a difference?” I am praying that God will direct and channel this deep passion that is growing within me, to places that can most effectively make an impact on this dying world!
Please continue to pray for Ate Vicki and Ate Carolina’s families. For health and for job opportunities! We’ve been able to hire their husbands to scrape paint and help with basic construction for a few days this month. As of this week we hired Ate Carolina 3 days each week to help clean at the clinic. She is truly overwhelmed and blessed by this opportunity.
God is beginning to show me spiritual fruit of the ministry we are a part of here. One day this month one of the students brought me an ultrasound diagnosing her patients’ baby with severe hydrocephaly, incompatible with life. We ended up having an extensive time with her and a precious Filipina friend of mine, explaining to her the condition of her baby and at the same time sharing God’s amazing grace and mercy. Through this time she asked Jesus to be Lord of her life and declared Him sovereign in the midst of all she was going through. It was truly a privilege to be there as she accepted and recognized the deep love of her heavenly father. As she prayed we declared over her forgiveness, freedom, worthiness, and acceptance. Each time we prayed these things she cried “thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus”. It was so beautiful to see something so deep and so sincere. Marichu did have her baby a little less than a week later. He lived 4 days before he, also, went home to be with Jesus. But Marichu did not grieve as someone in the world because she was able to grieve with hope, knowing her heavenly father!
Thank you for your prayers and support. Please pray for the staff and students at the clinic; for endurance and strength dealing with our busy schedules, heavy patient load and constant intensities. Please continue to pray for Filipina midwives as we have a critical need for them right now. And continue to pray for our precious patients. That they may know the love of God and truly see Him as their provider!
Love Nicole
Today as we celebrate the 1 year anniversary of this clinic being open, we had our 659th birth! As I reflect on the past year I can’t help but be overwhelmed by God’s faithfulness. This year has come with many challenges as we pioneer something new, but I know that God’s hand has been ever present as he’s guided us through valleys and over mountains!
It was a Sunday morning at around 10 am when Sarah came to me in a panicked voice and said “I can’t find heart tones”. She was checking in a new labor that had just come into our clinic. The lady’s name was Johna, 22 years old and in labor with her 4th child. She had been to our clinic for one prenatal in August and came now in active labor. I attempted to find fetal heart tones and couldn’t hear them at all. I had a sense in my spirit that this baby was not going to live, yet I had a peace that passed understanding. The next hours were intense and difficult as 15 minutes later Johna delivered a baby girl, Stefany, born without a heart beat. We tried resuscitating her for the first few minutes but there was no response. Stefany was already safe in the arms of Jesus. We spent the next hours grieving with Johna and her husband, Ray. They had already experienced this once with their firstborn. Johna’s first pregnancy was twins. The first twin was born crying and grew up to be a healthy 4-year-old. The second one was a still birth. She had another child after that set of twins and now had this baby. Johna’s grief was deep. As we heard this mother sob over another lost child we knew that a part of her was lost as well. We had the privilege, as hard as it was, of walking through this journey with them; comforting them in their grief, praying for the peace of God to reign in their lives.
That night our team gathered together and prayed and worshiped. We sang together “For You are Good”. It was really challenging for me to sing that. To chose to say “God is still good”.
Later that day I had another birth that wasn’t exactly normal… another baby that needed some resuscitation. As I was thinking about it later I was pretty upset that the birth had been that way. I was really praying for a normal birth as the trauma from Johna’s birth was still so fresh. But as I reflected on it God really spoke to me. He reminded me of the miracle of life. I realized that both of those births could have had the same outcomes, had it not been for the grace and miracle of God. He breathed life into that second baby. Within minutes she was screaming and crying, kicking and breathing. That is a miracle. Each precious one is a miracle. I won’t ever understand why one lives and one dies. All I can do is put my trust in a God who is sovereign, who gives life and takes it away.
Walking this journey with Johna and Ray was just one of the experiences that I had this past month. The other families that have been really close to my heart are Carolina and Vicki’s families (the families that collect recycling from us). The first couple weeks I was back I spent a lot of time with them, chatting, playing with their kids, and just hanging out together. We had a lot of conversations about poverty, both here and around the world. One day they asked me if there were poor in Canada. I told them that there was but they couldn’t live in the same sort of shacks because of the cold and the need for heating. They had never heard of heating before. I was trying to explain it to them and finally said “just like airconditioning but it blows hot air”. Suddenly they got it! J They proceeded to ask me more questions about the poor and about my family. Just when I felt like they understood that we had poor just on a different scale they asked me, “so do your brothers and sisters collect garbage so they can eat?” I was suddenly aware that they really have no idea how great the extremes are!
A couple days later Ate Carolina came to the clinic saying one of her children was in the hospital, diagnosed with appendicitis. I spent the next hours with them at the hospital. Finally one of the doctors that did an evaluation said “this doesn’t seem like appendicitis”. He closed the curtains, did an exam and came out with a tapeworm over a foot long!!! The dr. wrote us a few prescriptions for deworming and sent us on our way.
A couple weeks later more of the children were hospitalized. This time they had diarrhea and were vomiting. This flu should have been something easy for their bodies to fight, but because they are already malnourished and compromised this flu was enough to knock them out completely. They were dehydrated and weak, on IV’s and antibiotics. Carolina and Vicki came to the clinic to tell me. They were pretty upset and felt helpless as they didn’t have any money for even the most basic care. I went with them to the hospital and spent the next hours doing everything from talking to the doctors, paying the laboratory fees, buying medicines and getting them lunch! It was an extremely exhausting day, I think emotionally more than anything. I was very aware that without this basic medical treatment these little children could literally die. Diarrhea is one of the top 2 killers of children in the third world. Why? Because they are so malnourished and already compromised that their body can’t fight a typical flu bug. The heaviness of injustice felt great. Things seem unfair when they are denied privileges and luxuries that we have, but when they are denied basic rights like medical care and a meal, the injustice seems too overwhelming!
It seems like every day I am here I am more aware of the depths of injustice. At times I am thankful for the opportunity to see things so deeply. Other times I just want to retreat and not see it at all. I struggle daily with the questions “how can I help? How can I truly make a difference?” I am praying that God will direct and channel this deep passion that is growing within me, to places that can most effectively make an impact on this dying world!
Please continue to pray for Ate Vicki and Ate Carolina’s families. For health and for job opportunities! We’ve been able to hire their husbands to scrape paint and help with basic construction for a few days this month. As of this week we hired Ate Carolina 3 days each week to help clean at the clinic. She is truly overwhelmed and blessed by this opportunity.
God is beginning to show me spiritual fruit of the ministry we are a part of here. One day this month one of the students brought me an ultrasound diagnosing her patients’ baby with severe hydrocephaly, incompatible with life. We ended up having an extensive time with her and a precious Filipina friend of mine, explaining to her the condition of her baby and at the same time sharing God’s amazing grace and mercy. Through this time she asked Jesus to be Lord of her life and declared Him sovereign in the midst of all she was going through. It was truly a privilege to be there as she accepted and recognized the deep love of her heavenly father. As she prayed we declared over her forgiveness, freedom, worthiness, and acceptance. Each time we prayed these things she cried “thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus”. It was so beautiful to see something so deep and so sincere. Marichu did have her baby a little less than a week later. He lived 4 days before he, also, went home to be with Jesus. But Marichu did not grieve as someone in the world because she was able to grieve with hope, knowing her heavenly father!
Thank you for your prayers and support. Please pray for the staff and students at the clinic; for endurance and strength dealing with our busy schedules, heavy patient load and constant intensities. Please continue to pray for Filipina midwives as we have a critical need for them right now. And continue to pray for our precious patients. That they may know the love of God and truly see Him as their provider!
Love Nicole
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Life in the Philippines
Dear Friends and Family,
Life at the clinic has continued to be busy for the past months even though I have been silent. Babies are born daily and we’ve had over 400 births since we opened in October! Recently we switched to seeing patients for out-patient care on a daily basis instead of only 2 days per week. Last month there were 77 births! God is so good to continually bring us people to give us the opportunity to serve.
This past month the other two supervisors and I moved across the street to a separate apartment. It has been a great transition to a more peaceful, more private place. Moving was a total answer to prayer. It has provided us with a place to call our own.
I’ve had the privilege of having quite a few visitors over the course of the past few months. First my parents in January, then Cynthia Stevens, Amanda Reitsma, and my sister Krista through April and May. Krista being here for the past 2 months has been so awesome. We’ve loved being able to serve side by side and look forward to sharing stories when we come home in August!
Below is one of the stories of life here. I pray that it will give you a sense of what goes on here.
It was a day that started just like any other when I decided to go to Welfareville and visit Ate Vicki and Ate Carolina’s houses. Or dare I even call them houses. They are their houses because it’s all that they have, but compared to North American standards they are more like a shed or a tree house. Ate Vicki has 5 children and Ate Carolina 8. This visit was different because the reality of what they face in their daily lives came closing in on me. I found out this day that Ate Vicki’s oldest daughter, Apple, who is 11 years old, was collecting garbage along with two of Ate Carolina’s children. I realized that day that if these children do not collect garbage, or recyclable products, these families will not eat tonight. They have a small cart that they peddle around and dig through bags of garbage, collecting anything recyclable and exchange it for a small amount of money. With that money they buy rice, and if there’s enough they will also buy a little bag of “ulam” (any Filipino dish that is served with rice). This night I realized that the kids hadn’t collected enough. Even though they’d been out in the heat and sun all day long, they had only collected a small amount. I heard the kids asking their mom in Tagalog for food, telling her they were hungry. She was trying to keep them settled while she talked to me, ashamed that she had nothing to provide for her family.
I think something changed in my heart that day. I realized the depth of poverty in a new way. 11 year olds with the responsibility of whether or not their family will eat was not the way it was intended. Yet I know that God has given me this relationship for a reason. Since then our clinic has been saving all our recyclable products. The families come here weekly, sometimes more often, to collect everything we have saved and exchange it for money at the local recyclable sheds. We are praying that the small thing we can do will make a difference!
Please continue to pray for Ate Vicki and Ate Carolina’s families. That God will provide work for their husbands. That He will meet every one of their needs. And that they would see Jesus Christ as their provider!
This is just a glimpse into what life is like here. One day it’s this. The next day, another story. Sometimes the stories are overwhelming. But God is showing me that in the middle of it there is beauty found in the ashes of poverty. Beauty that is raw and has yet to be discovered. Beauty that we have the privilege of unveiling.
Thank you for being a part of the continuing work that takes place here, in Welfareville and in the Philippines.
Nicole
Life at the clinic has continued to be busy for the past months even though I have been silent. Babies are born daily and we’ve had over 400 births since we opened in October! Recently we switched to seeing patients for out-patient care on a daily basis instead of only 2 days per week. Last month there were 77 births! God is so good to continually bring us people to give us the opportunity to serve.
This past month the other two supervisors and I moved across the street to a separate apartment. It has been a great transition to a more peaceful, more private place. Moving was a total answer to prayer. It has provided us with a place to call our own.
I’ve had the privilege of having quite a few visitors over the course of the past few months. First my parents in January, then Cynthia Stevens, Amanda Reitsma, and my sister Krista through April and May. Krista being here for the past 2 months has been so awesome. We’ve loved being able to serve side by side and look forward to sharing stories when we come home in August!
Below is one of the stories of life here. I pray that it will give you a sense of what goes on here.
It was a day that started just like any other when I decided to go to Welfareville and visit Ate Vicki and Ate Carolina’s houses. Or dare I even call them houses. They are their houses because it’s all that they have, but compared to North American standards they are more like a shed or a tree house. Ate Vicki has 5 children and Ate Carolina 8. This visit was different because the reality of what they face in their daily lives came closing in on me. I found out this day that Ate Vicki’s oldest daughter, Apple, who is 11 years old, was collecting garbage along with two of Ate Carolina’s children. I realized that day that if these children do not collect garbage, or recyclable products, these families will not eat tonight. They have a small cart that they peddle around and dig through bags of garbage, collecting anything recyclable and exchange it for a small amount of money. With that money they buy rice, and if there’s enough they will also buy a little bag of “ulam” (any Filipino dish that is served with rice). This night I realized that the kids hadn’t collected enough. Even though they’d been out in the heat and sun all day long, they had only collected a small amount. I heard the kids asking their mom in Tagalog for food, telling her they were hungry. She was trying to keep them settled while she talked to me, ashamed that she had nothing to provide for her family.
I think something changed in my heart that day. I realized the depth of poverty in a new way. 11 year olds with the responsibility of whether or not their family will eat was not the way it was intended. Yet I know that God has given me this relationship for a reason. Since then our clinic has been saving all our recyclable products. The families come here weekly, sometimes more often, to collect everything we have saved and exchange it for money at the local recyclable sheds. We are praying that the small thing we can do will make a difference!
Please continue to pray for Ate Vicki and Ate Carolina’s families. That God will provide work for their husbands. That He will meet every one of their needs. And that they would see Jesus Christ as their provider!
This is just a glimpse into what life is like here. One day it’s this. The next day, another story. Sometimes the stories are overwhelming. But God is showing me that in the middle of it there is beauty found in the ashes of poverty. Beauty that is raw and has yet to be discovered. Beauty that we have the privilege of unveiling.
Thank you for being a part of the continuing work that takes place here, in Welfareville and in the Philippines.
Nicole
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Blessed Be Your Name
This year of 2005 has already been full. I can hardly believe it’s only been 2 months. Over the course of those months I've had so much I've wanted to communicate to you but finding the time to write has seemed nearly impossible. So I apologize for this silence and thank you for your continued love, support and prayers through this especially challenging time.
“Blessed Be Your Name”, a song written by Matt Redman has been incredibly significant to me over the last months. The words of one part sing “You give and take away, you give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name”. Those words bring on a whole new meaning when we're literally talking about lives that are given and taken away. On my 20th birthday 2 babies were born at our clinic—one baby was named Nicole- after a little encouragement from our Filipina midwife! The other baby was Adrien Riff. I prayed over Adrien Riff before he left, praying that he would live to walk in the destiny and calling that God had for his life. The next day his family came to our clinic in the evening, frantic. Our emergency buzzer was rung and we found a baby that was lifeless. We did everything we could to resuscitate him and by the time our midwives got into a taxi, taking him to the hospital, he did have a heartbeat but it wasn’t solid. The doctors spent the night resuscitating him but he didn’t make it. I guess the destiny and purpose that God had for that baby was to be fulfilled in his short 48 hours of life! I’ll never again take advantage of the sound of a strong heart beating on a newborn baby! God gives life and he takes it away. Through it all I had to learn to say ‘blessed be your name’.
Less than a week later, on January 18, 7 officials from the regional and federal Department of Health came to our clinic to inform us that as of Nov. 2004 new regulations were passed and we were not in compliance with federal regulations of what they call “Birthing Homes”. In order for us to continue operating we were to file licensure as a Birthing Home. The next day they asked us to stop offering in-patient care, but allowed us to continue on an outpatient basis. This meant we could continue our prenatal days and immunization days, but were unable to do in-patient deliveries. That night we spent a lot of time praying, knowing that this was something the enemy was attempting to do to thwart the purposes that the Lord had in us being here. We knew this battle was not against flesh and blood!! We decided that the best way to continue serving our patients was by offering home births to every woman that came here in labor. Home births are not regulated in the Philippines so we were not violating any laws. For the next month the women that came here in labor were accompanied back to their homes with 3 or 4 midwives who would spend the next hours with them in their homes. In these situations God reminded me again that He gives and takes away- opportunities to deliver babies at the clinic may be taken away, but I know that he will give new opportunities through doing home births.
The next day a patient came to our clinic in labor with her first baby. A Filipina midwife and I offered her the option of us delivering her baby at home. Oxygen tank in one hand, bag of medical supplies in the other we got into a tricicad (basically motorcycle with a side car) and went into Welfareville. We climbed out of the tricicad and walked through the small alleyways, up a flight of steep stairs, over open sewer, and into a small room that was Jing’s home. Less than an hour later she delivered a beautiful, healthy baby boy. He was born crying and all was well. There in the comfort of her home came forth a beautiful life! Again God showed me that he provides life so amazingly. Lord blessed be your name! Over the course of the next month we had the privilege of delivering over 20 babies in homes. So much about homebirths is the same, yet so much is different. Although medically it can at times be challenging, it is such an amazing privilege to literally bring the light of Christ into a home! Hours are spent sitting on their floor, eating the food that they willingly offer, attempting to speak their language—just being with the people.
The past month we as leadership have been busy in different ways; filing paper work for permits to get licensure. The permits we needed were zoning permits, fire permits, environmental regulations, etc. Nothing related to patient care. The Department of Health did require us to have a generator and a transport vehicle. Both of these were unexpected expenses, but through some additional fundraising we were able to have provision for these! Once our paper work was all in order we were just waiting for an inspection and final processing of our application. After nearly a month of waiting God answered our prayers and moved on our behalf. A doctor that we had developed a relationship with agreed to write a letter of endorsement for us, saying that she we could practice under her until we get a permanent license. So on February 17, 2005 our birth room opened again for inpatient deliveries. This past Tuesday 4 DOH officials showed up at the clinic without warning to conduct our inspection. At the end of the inspection God again moved on our behalf and we passed inspection. There are only a couple things that need to be done for our license to be processed. One of the things is getting a memorandum of agreement with the local hospital, agreeing that they will receive the patients that are complicated outside of our realm of care. Please pray for favor this week as I meet with the Medical Director of the hospital to request this letter. Again God showed that through a season of taking away He was giving back to us!!
One of the hardest realities of our clinic being closed for in-patient deliveries was the reality that if they continue closing clinics the people that will be affected are the poor. For some, those lying in clinics are the only way these women can deliver with any trained medical help. If lying-in clinics continue to be shut down the women God has given me such a heart for will not have access to medical care. They will be like so many of the other women we’ve seen and be turned away at the doors of the hospitals because the hospitals don’t have any space. And with nowhere else to go they will return home. Sometimes they will be okay. God’s grace will completely cover them and everything will be normal. But sometimes it won’t. And lives will be lost. All because these poor are denied the essential necessity of basic healthy care. It’s become normal here now because it’s common. But it’s not just and not what God desires.
Through it all God has shown me his heart in new ways over the last months. Sometimes feeling his heart is painful and difficult. But it’s worth the cost. Because the joy that comes through the suffering is worth it all. Though he gives and takes away, my heart chooses to say blessed be your name!!
The reality of poverty was understood in new ways as we did homebirths. Being in the women’s homes and seeing their situations opened my eyes again. When women come to the clinic we are aware they are poor but they come looking their very best so it’s easy to deny that their living conditions are truly as they are. The last homebirth I did was in one of the poorest homes I’ve ever entered. One evening a lady came to our clinic asking us to come to her house where her sister was in labor. When we got there at 11 pm, Vicki, our soon-to-be new mom was taking care of 12 children. Her 4 and her sisters 8 (the sister that had come to the clinic to get us). Both their husbands were out working… collecting garbage to sell to recycle companies as the families only income. The house was barely bigger than a North American bathroom. Her sister lived next door. Combined the houses were no bigger than an average kitchen and in that space there were 17 people living. Vicki’s sister had put all 12 kids to ‘bed’ in her house. At one point in the night I peeked in to see them sleeping all over the floor. Their legs were tangled up. They were laying nearly on top of eachother. Every once in a while someone would roll over and wake up the person beside them who found herself squished up against the wall. She would just get up and find the nearest open space on the floor. At least they were sleeping peacefully. I was in the house next door with Vicki. I wasn’t in such a peaceful state. The wall on one side of the room was raised a little, and underneath ran an open sewer. In the middle of the night rats and roaches were crawling in and out of there continuously. It felt like a bad nightmare! If I let myself look at one cockroach I noticed that it wasn’t alone, but actually surrounded by many others!! Yet in this place, primitive as it may be, a healthy baby boy was born!! It may not have been the ideal location but neither was the place where Jesus was born. The presence of God was there and real, so independent of the state of poverty. Through this God showed me a fresh meaning of the incarnation—He became one of us—“the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son” (Luke 1:6). So simple. So profound. You give and take away, my heart will chose to say blessed be your name!
Most of you have known bits and pieces of our journey towards licensure over the last couple months. Thank you for your specific prayers in that time. It’s only because of the intervention of God that we have completed and passed inspection with only minimal paperwork to do to have complete licensure. We are confident that this license is going to open many new doors and expand our territory in The Philippines! Please continue to pray that this process will go smoothly and be complete soon!
Thank you for your love and support as I walk out the calling that God has placed on my life,
Love Nicole
Blessed Be Your Name
by Matt Redman
album: Where Angels Fear To Tread (2002)
Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
“Blessed Be Your Name”, a song written by Matt Redman has been incredibly significant to me over the last months. The words of one part sing “You give and take away, you give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name”. Those words bring on a whole new meaning when we're literally talking about lives that are given and taken away. On my 20th birthday 2 babies were born at our clinic—one baby was named Nicole- after a little encouragement from our Filipina midwife! The other baby was Adrien Riff. I prayed over Adrien Riff before he left, praying that he would live to walk in the destiny and calling that God had for his life. The next day his family came to our clinic in the evening, frantic. Our emergency buzzer was rung and we found a baby that was lifeless. We did everything we could to resuscitate him and by the time our midwives got into a taxi, taking him to the hospital, he did have a heartbeat but it wasn’t solid. The doctors spent the night resuscitating him but he didn’t make it. I guess the destiny and purpose that God had for that baby was to be fulfilled in his short 48 hours of life! I’ll never again take advantage of the sound of a strong heart beating on a newborn baby! God gives life and he takes it away. Through it all I had to learn to say ‘blessed be your name’.
Less than a week later, on January 18, 7 officials from the regional and federal Department of Health came to our clinic to inform us that as of Nov. 2004 new regulations were passed and we were not in compliance with federal regulations of what they call “Birthing Homes”. In order for us to continue operating we were to file licensure as a Birthing Home. The next day they asked us to stop offering in-patient care, but allowed us to continue on an outpatient basis. This meant we could continue our prenatal days and immunization days, but were unable to do in-patient deliveries. That night we spent a lot of time praying, knowing that this was something the enemy was attempting to do to thwart the purposes that the Lord had in us being here. We knew this battle was not against flesh and blood!! We decided that the best way to continue serving our patients was by offering home births to every woman that came here in labor. Home births are not regulated in the Philippines so we were not violating any laws. For the next month the women that came here in labor were accompanied back to their homes with 3 or 4 midwives who would spend the next hours with them in their homes. In these situations God reminded me again that He gives and takes away- opportunities to deliver babies at the clinic may be taken away, but I know that he will give new opportunities through doing home births.
The next day a patient came to our clinic in labor with her first baby. A Filipina midwife and I offered her the option of us delivering her baby at home. Oxygen tank in one hand, bag of medical supplies in the other we got into a tricicad (basically motorcycle with a side car) and went into Welfareville. We climbed out of the tricicad and walked through the small alleyways, up a flight of steep stairs, over open sewer, and into a small room that was Jing’s home. Less than an hour later she delivered a beautiful, healthy baby boy. He was born crying and all was well. There in the comfort of her home came forth a beautiful life! Again God showed me that he provides life so amazingly. Lord blessed be your name! Over the course of the next month we had the privilege of delivering over 20 babies in homes. So much about homebirths is the same, yet so much is different. Although medically it can at times be challenging, it is such an amazing privilege to literally bring the light of Christ into a home! Hours are spent sitting on their floor, eating the food that they willingly offer, attempting to speak their language—just being with the people.
The past month we as leadership have been busy in different ways; filing paper work for permits to get licensure. The permits we needed were zoning permits, fire permits, environmental regulations, etc. Nothing related to patient care. The Department of Health did require us to have a generator and a transport vehicle. Both of these were unexpected expenses, but through some additional fundraising we were able to have provision for these! Once our paper work was all in order we were just waiting for an inspection and final processing of our application. After nearly a month of waiting God answered our prayers and moved on our behalf. A doctor that we had developed a relationship with agreed to write a letter of endorsement for us, saying that she we could practice under her until we get a permanent license. So on February 17, 2005 our birth room opened again for inpatient deliveries. This past Tuesday 4 DOH officials showed up at the clinic without warning to conduct our inspection. At the end of the inspection God again moved on our behalf and we passed inspection. There are only a couple things that need to be done for our license to be processed. One of the things is getting a memorandum of agreement with the local hospital, agreeing that they will receive the patients that are complicated outside of our realm of care. Please pray for favor this week as I meet with the Medical Director of the hospital to request this letter. Again God showed that through a season of taking away He was giving back to us!!
One of the hardest realities of our clinic being closed for in-patient deliveries was the reality that if they continue closing clinics the people that will be affected are the poor. For some, those lying in clinics are the only way these women can deliver with any trained medical help. If lying-in clinics continue to be shut down the women God has given me such a heart for will not have access to medical care. They will be like so many of the other women we’ve seen and be turned away at the doors of the hospitals because the hospitals don’t have any space. And with nowhere else to go they will return home. Sometimes they will be okay. God’s grace will completely cover them and everything will be normal. But sometimes it won’t. And lives will be lost. All because these poor are denied the essential necessity of basic healthy care. It’s become normal here now because it’s common. But it’s not just and not what God desires.
Through it all God has shown me his heart in new ways over the last months. Sometimes feeling his heart is painful and difficult. But it’s worth the cost. Because the joy that comes through the suffering is worth it all. Though he gives and takes away, my heart chooses to say blessed be your name!!
The reality of poverty was understood in new ways as we did homebirths. Being in the women’s homes and seeing their situations opened my eyes again. When women come to the clinic we are aware they are poor but they come looking their very best so it’s easy to deny that their living conditions are truly as they are. The last homebirth I did was in one of the poorest homes I’ve ever entered. One evening a lady came to our clinic asking us to come to her house where her sister was in labor. When we got there at 11 pm, Vicki, our soon-to-be new mom was taking care of 12 children. Her 4 and her sisters 8 (the sister that had come to the clinic to get us). Both their husbands were out working… collecting garbage to sell to recycle companies as the families only income. The house was barely bigger than a North American bathroom. Her sister lived next door. Combined the houses were no bigger than an average kitchen and in that space there were 17 people living. Vicki’s sister had put all 12 kids to ‘bed’ in her house. At one point in the night I peeked in to see them sleeping all over the floor. Their legs were tangled up. They were laying nearly on top of eachother. Every once in a while someone would roll over and wake up the person beside them who found herself squished up against the wall. She would just get up and find the nearest open space on the floor. At least they were sleeping peacefully. I was in the house next door with Vicki. I wasn’t in such a peaceful state. The wall on one side of the room was raised a little, and underneath ran an open sewer. In the middle of the night rats and roaches were crawling in and out of there continuously. It felt like a bad nightmare! If I let myself look at one cockroach I noticed that it wasn’t alone, but actually surrounded by many others!! Yet in this place, primitive as it may be, a healthy baby boy was born!! It may not have been the ideal location but neither was the place where Jesus was born. The presence of God was there and real, so independent of the state of poverty. Through this God showed me a fresh meaning of the incarnation—He became one of us—“the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son” (Luke 1:6). So simple. So profound. You give and take away, my heart will chose to say blessed be your name!
Most of you have known bits and pieces of our journey towards licensure over the last couple months. Thank you for your specific prayers in that time. It’s only because of the intervention of God that we have completed and passed inspection with only minimal paperwork to do to have complete licensure. We are confident that this license is going to open many new doors and expand our territory in The Philippines! Please continue to pray that this process will go smoothly and be complete soon!
Thank you for your love and support as I walk out the calling that God has placed on my life,
Love Nicole
Blessed Be Your Name
by Matt Redman
album: Where Angels Fear To Tread (2002)
Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
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